Month: September 2016

A Pile of Parenting Books

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 1 Comment

If it wasn’t already obvious, I do some of my best learning through reading. I can’t recall ever taking one of those learning styles tests, but I know I’d rank higher on reading than simply seeing. (Since I do love personality tests, I should probably take one some day.)

So over the last 8 months or so, I’ve read a lot about pregnancy, birth, and infants. Most of these books I’ve received as gifts or gotten cheap at a thrift store based on recommendations. What I’m finding really interesting (and potentially frustrating) is the variety and contradiction of the contents.

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp focuses on calming the crying in a variety of ways so that both baby and parents get enough rest. I appreciated the blend of medical science and common sense, wrapped together with a rather amusing tone. For example, I laughed over this quote for days:

I think America’s favorite pastime isn’t baseball…. It’s giving new moms unsolicited advice.

Karp’s 5 S’s (swaddling, side/stomach, shushing, swinging, and sucking) are easy to use and remember. Most of his book is built on the premise that babies could use a “fourth trimester” in the womb and each of the S’s helps make the outside world a little more womb-like for the little one.

On Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam was also good, but my particular copy was a little dated (copyright 1995) so maybe I’ll check the library for an updated version, just to compare. These authors seem unworried about stomach sleeping infants, which recent studies have linked strongly to SIDS, so I ignored that part.

Ezzo and Bucknam strongly advocate getting your baby on a routine as quickly as possible so that babies are sleeping through the night by around 6-8 weeks. They recommend watching the clock, but not allowing the clock to be the parent, some feedings will happen slightly earlier or later than the average 3 hours apart. I appreciated a lot of the tips, especially about helping a more nocturnal baby transition to sleeping more at night, but I’m not sure how hardcore I will be about always making sure the routine is “feeding-waketime-naptime.”

La Leche League International’s The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding is a lot less structured than Babywise, advocating the natural instincts of the mother and baby over the schedule. This book recommends feeding when the baby is hungry, as many times throughout the day and night as necessary. Again, I’m not sure how I feel about that.

But what I did love about that book was all the advice and techniques for making breastfeeding successful. For me, nursing is primarily about the budget. I love that breast milk is created to be the right food for baby and all the immune-boosting and relationship-building benefits for both mom and baby. But when it comes down to it, if we don’t have to buy formula, it will be a lot easier for me to stay home with baby and just work very part time.

At first I worried that reading all these different parenting philosophies would make me confused and paralyzed about what is BEST. But I think that it’s worked out to be the opposite. If I hadn’t read a variety of ideas, I would be sure that there is one right way to do this, and be more prone to get down on myself for perceived failures. I already know that that is going to be a challenge for me, it has been for my whole life. If I don’t do something exactly right, I’ve failed, and will likely never succeed (as shown in my reactions to learning to ride bike, read music, multiply, and drive). I’ve already been reminding myself that parenthood is full of failure and success, so we’ll see how I do at keeping a balanced perspective. Even without enough sleep.

One of my favorite reminders came from almost every book that I’ve read; remember that your baby is joining the family that you’ve already begun to create. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner will provide security and stability for your children. I think it would be really easy to focus so much on baby that you neglect your marriage, which is probably why all these books remind you not to.

Baby T-Rex is due in the next month or so, and then we’ll see. About so many things, we will wait and see.

Unexpected Inspiration and a Book Review (of sorts)

~ Patricia Schnase ~ Leave a comment

Last semester I took a class on the History of the English Language and I wrote my final paper (through a couple of migraines) on the various dictionaries, looking at them historically and comparing methods and scope. It was an exceptionally nerdy project, and I found it fascinating to compare Samuel Johnson’s work to Noah Webster’s, and both of those to the Oxford English Dictionary (OED). I read many articles and books, some in more detail than others. Two by Simon Winchester on the OED intrigued me most and I’ve held on to them all summer. The library due dates are approaching, so I’ve buckled down to finish.

Today I finished The Meaning of Everything, which covers the whole scope of the OED project, focusing mainly on the various editors. The primary hero is James Murray, who developed the system for creating and arranging the definitions. But the man who unexpectedly inspired me today was Henry Bradley. Bradley initially wrote a review of one of the early sections of the dictionary and his deft balancing of praise and critique eventually earned him the respect of Murray and a position as editor. So, here’s the line that stuck out to me:

The story of what then befell Henry Bradley should serve as encouragement for today’s writers, one might think, and prompt them to consider the possibilities and opportunities that might yet come from the vagaries of the freelance life. p.156

You never know what might lead to the next big thing in your life. And as a writer myself, this was an excellent reminder to keep writing no matter what the assignment.

*Also, if you want to talk more about dictionaries and the men who wrote them, hit me up. 😉

Why I’d make a great dictator

~ Patricia Schnase ~ 1 Comment

A bit of a running joke with me is that I often want to be in charge, but I’m unwilling to seize power against the will of others. If people would just listen to me, we’d all be happier and better off.

This tendency reminded me the other day of Lord Vetinari of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series. Vetinari is the Patrician and supreme ruler of Ankh-Morpork. Now, I’ve only read a handful of this vast series so far, but I think I could be a suitable Vetinari for the real world.

According to the Discworld Wiki:

It was his discovery that people only really want stability and that tomorrow should pretty much resemble today, and this has been his greatest contribution to Ankh-Morpork. Impressively, he manages to keep this up even while he drags Ankh-Morpork, sometimes kicking and screaming, into the future. It is said that Vetinari can accomplish more with irony than most others can with steel. He can also accomplish more with one raised eyebrow than most people can with two of them and a lifetime of practice.

A good dictator should have the best interests of the people in mind, and accomplish those interests with a minimum of fuss. Generally, people want their lives to run smoothly and efficiently, and an appropriately functioning government is a step in that direction. Especially if that government is helmed by a person who has a finger in everything and the ability to inspire action in others.

*If you haven’t caught on, this post has been written with my tongue firmly in my cheek. But there are some points that I think we should consider as our nation faces the coming election.

While we’re not electing a dictator, we need to consider whether our chosen candidate has the interests of the people at heart. I’m not sure any of the current choices do. I’m not sure any human can truly ignore their own selfish heart.

But maybe we ought to consider electing someone who doesn’t want the presidency. Someone with leadership qualities, chosen by others, not by themselves. In all honesty, I don’t really want to be in charge, and that might be what makes me succeed as a leader in some cases. I think that someone who doesn’t want to, but respects this nation and will take the responsibility of leading it seriously, might just be what we need.

Vetinari 2016: A Tyrant for our Time